Thursday, April 10, 2008
"Fuck That, Fall Back"
"Maybe my spirituality is feminist after all - feminist in that I cannot help but speak from my own experience and cast that story out into the public domain, whether as part of the chorus or cacophony." - Rachel A.R. Bundang, "This Is Not Your Mother's Catholic Church" from the book Pinay Power
Ask me about what I believe in. I ran for student government in high school (President for 4 years, whatchu know 'bout that?) thinking that change and organization could ensure a collective student voice. Maybe I didn't say it that way in high school, but I damn sure believed in the potential that people always told students they have. I was tired of shit talking and living with people's perceptions of misunderstood power. I know, perhaps I even have a more jaded sense now of what it means to play politics. I can spit game but what good would that be? I can recall several moments when teachers, peers and administrators didn't listen to me because I'm female. And yes I know that they didn't listen to me because of my gender because the male next to me would repeat the same shit I just said and be recognized and praised for my words.
How else can I fully communicate the fact that I have always witnessed, swam in and refuse injustice? I admit that I am completely opposite, behaviorally, from high school, and it has taken a hell of a lot of unlearning and re-socializing to simply stand up. If you can't imagine needing words and validation to walk upright then maybe we can't get down. Clutching onto inner battles to use as ammunition to fight the world with - these are not crutches used to seek attention from people who can use their privilege to help disenfranchised others. I do not need someone else's agency. Or hand-outs. Or blogs.
“The main purpose of defining Pinayism in these somewhat audacious extremities is to emphasize its endless possibilities and also look at the multiplicity of what it means to be Pinay and a Pinayist. In defining and creating this space, we must also acknowledge the obstacles and strategies of Pinayism as a fluid concept, having an inherent ability to be changed and also being an impetus for change.” - Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales, "Pinayism," Pinay Power
Last time I checked, people weren't born blue, purple, orange or whatever. They are red, brown, black, yellow and white.
Last time I checked, people didn't just speak Chinese, 'Mexican', Vietnamese, Japanese, Filipino or whatever. English isn't the official language of the U.S. There isn't one.
Last time I checked, there wasn't just feminism or Pinayism. By forgetting, you contribute to the dismantling of a core argument of these movements' fight for space in memory. I am tired of being left on the margins. I am tired of seeing other womyn's hearts become saturated with patriarchal lacerations. One of my biggest fears is to be forgotten. I fear that this is happening to me as I type if I don't write resistance fast enough against a status quo that may expunge me of my womynhood.
Last time I checked, fence sitting didn't save nor change the world.
By only naming these two types of womyn's movements, just as white feminism often does not include womyn of color, you can easily exclude and contribute to the erasure of other feminist movements. A created visibility can work conversely against good intentions. Do not forget, or exclude, our Chicana, Muslim, Black, Puerto Rican and others sisters in diaspora who have the same struggles.
This is not verbal fodder. This is the only way for me to tell you, or anyone, about personal experience as Truth. These words are my medium, my cartel for communication. Use yours carefully.
More later. Trust.
// posted by Janice @ 11:49 PM 
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