Friday, April 25, 2008

These Are The Times

Finding out that they were coming to SoCal at the end of the June has already made my summer! Your girl got some good tickets, too. Damn shame that there wasn't much of a fight between me and Ticketmaster this time around. This shit is better than finding out that they got back together for 5 minutes! This concert is for those true R&B fiends, and I'm hella excited to see them perform.

Funny thing is that the concert is being advertised as "Sisqo with Dru Hill" as if he was never a part of their success in the first place! Maybe I'll look into that later. But the line-up is FRESH! Shai, En Vogue, Ginuwine and Montell Jordan! 90s R&B! It's making a comeback. Thank Goodness, because their voices are much needed. I can't picture chivalry without a good love song. And my need for chivalry is not rooted out of necessity for kindness; it's not a calling for gentlemen, but rather a level of understanding after learning to respect [a] womyn and finding that she already exists as half the battle. She already exists as equal, it's just a matter of letting that be. Granted, some men may have to reflect, step outside of themselves and overcome some deep psychological barriers. It's okay to be in service for one another, especially if it's for love, and R&B music provides that sensual soundtrack. So I think that's what spoken word artist Ruby Veridiano-Ching means when she says, "Let's take it back to soul music!"

Let's get back. Like Dru Hill onstage. =)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Our Parents Were Sleeping

Things I hated growing up included this phrase
Words used as punishment
It was like a rubber-banded threat
Silencing child's play

Words used as punishment
We used this control each other
Silencing child's play
What the fuck is Home?

We used this to control each other
Because restrictions came out of purple places bruised
What the fuck is Home?
I couldn't love you right enough

Because restrictions came out of purple places bruised
We are like lost souls under a glass ceiling
I couldn't love you right enough
Always sleeping, never awake when I needed someone

We are like lost souls under a glass ceiling
It was like a rubber-banded threat
Always sleeping, never awake when I needed someone
Things I hated growing up included this phrase

Reflections on growing up in a Filipino home, under 1 roof with 3 different families.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

"Fuck That, Fall Back"

"Maybe my spirituality is feminist after all - feminist in that I cannot help but speak from my own experience and cast that story out into the public domain, whether as part of the chorus or cacophony." - Rachel A.R. Bundang, "This Is Not Your Mother's Catholic Church" from the book Pinay Power

Ask me about what I believe in. I ran for student government in high school (President for 4 years, whatchu know 'bout that?) thinking that change and organization could ensure a collective student voice. Maybe I didn't say it that way in high school, but I damn sure believed in the potential that people always told students they have. I was tired of shit talking and living with people's perceptions of misunderstood power. I know, perhaps I even have a more jaded sense now of what it means to play politics. I can spit game but what good would that be? I can recall several moments when teachers, peers and administrators didn't listen to me because I'm female. And yes I know that they didn't listen to me because of my gender because the male next to me would repeat the same shit I just said and be recognized and praised for my words. 

How else can I fully communicate the fact that I have always witnessed, swam in and refuse injustice? I admit that I am completely opposite, behaviorally, from high school, and it has taken a hell of a lot of unlearning and re-socializing to simply stand up. If you can't imagine needing words and validation to walk upright then maybe we can't get down. Clutching onto inner battles to use as ammunition to fight the world with - these are not crutches used to seek attention from people who can use their privilege to help disenfranchised others. I do not need someone else's agency. Or hand-outs. Or blogs.

“The main purpose of defining Pinayism in these somewhat audacious extremities is to emphasize its endless possibilities and also look at the multiplicity of what it means to be Pinay and a Pinayist. In defining and creating this space, we must also acknowledge the obstacles and strategies of Pinayism as a fluid concept, having an inherent ability to be changed and also being an impetus for change.” - Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales, "Pinayism," Pinay Power

Last time I checked, people weren't born blue, purple, orange or whatever. They are red, brown, black, yellow and white.

Last time I checked, people didn't just speak Chinese, 'Mexican', Vietnamese, Japanese, Filipino or whatever. English isn't the official language of the U.S. There isn't one.

Last time I checked, there wasn't just feminism or Pinayism. By forgetting, you contribute to the dismantling of a core argument of these movements' fight for space in memory. I am tired of being left on the margins. I am tired of seeing other womyn's hearts become saturated with patriarchal lacerations. One of my biggest fears is to be forgotten. I fear that this is happening to me as I type if I don't write resistance fast enough against a status quo that may expunge me of my womynhood.  

Last time I checked, fence sitting didn't save nor change the world.

By only naming these two types of womyn's movements, just as white feminism often does not include womyn of color, you can easily exclude and contribute to the erasure of other feminist movements. A created visibility can work conversely against good intentions. Do not forget, or exclude, our Chicana, Muslim, Black, Puerto Rican and others sisters in diaspora who have the same struggles. 

This is not verbal fodder. This is the only way for me to tell you, or anyone, about personal experience as Truth. These words are my medium, my cartel for communication. Use yours carefully. 

More later. Trust.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

haikus for inarticulate times (or are they?)

Thinking in haikus
But never writing them down
Only mental notes

Never in between
I'm not into fence sitting
Ask me about it

Passive aggression
Does nothing for the movement
Release steam elsewhere

Stigmas for writing
Felt for being honest here
Say it to my face

I guess it's okay
To talk shit. Limit myself
To petty bullshit.

Complex politics
Don't let my love blind content
I'm still a womyn.

I don't type in here
To win you over, or have
you swoon. Food for thought

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]