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Sunday, June 03, 2007

Before I go crazy...

This isn't something I've researched (yet) or something that is completely inexplicable. This is something big. Like BIG. Like super unimaginably big. Or BIG. Whatever, you get it, this is important.

Lately, I find myself stumbling and second guessing my words. Not because I don't know what to say or because I'm just so inarticulate or because I may need a moment to think. I have a million things going through my mind at any one moment.

So what happens when what comes out of mouth isn't what's going through mind? (This is the "main point" if you don't take anything else away from this post.)

Sometimes the phrase "words are not enough" definitely holds true, but that's just it! That's it! It. I-T. That's the very thing (ambiguous word) that plagues me about language, communication, etymology, semantics, vocabulary, etc. The way that we communicate and live is un-whatever I think. Because then I find that the physical just can't compete or catch up. You know what, though? This blog doesn't even scratch the surface of the surface of the title of the topic that is bothering me. Bothering isn't even the word I'm looking for, yet it comes close to this struggle (also not the word I'm looking for) that

(left unfinished on purpose)

Language is not a definite thing. I-T's not. We attach meanings to make sense and make patterns to form comfort. SO if you ask me why something is or why it exists expecting to fRom-ulate expectations and purpose foRm my words, then I really can't relay the UTMOST confusion I experience/go through/process/live/create/interpret/see. Synonyms are another story. And stories are another paradigm.

I'm about to pull my hair out over this. And please don't think "Oh, I know what you mean" because you really, REALLY, real-ly, re-ally don't.

x_magsalita.

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